Shout Out

It's very important I give a public shout-out to my husband, Josh. This year has been very hard for me. Every day I suffered in silence and every day I lost a little more of myself. Yes, there were tragic events this year, but it goes way beyond that. About 6 months ago those 2 horrible beasts, Depression and Anxiety, had gripped on to me and weren't letting me go. Last Friday I was very close to letting them win...but I decided to ask for help instead. I was hospitalized for 3 days.
During that time Josh did a great job of taking care of the kids and home and was even able to work out a way to come visit me. Since I've been home I have been asked a few times if I'm good now. I'm better than I was but I'm not all good, yet. Every day is a constant struggle and it takes every ounce of me to do what I need to do. But you know what helps? All the support and help from Josh. He doesn't know what I'm going through. And it's still really hard to talk about to him. But it doesn't matter. He's still got my back. He knows I'm not well and he's taking care of me the best way he can....by taking care of everything else. I have to work. There's no way around that. But he's been handling the house and kids and errands and appointments and supporting me and making sure I've got everything I need. Just making it through the work day is a mountainous task for me and by the time I get home I'm a wreck. But I can just let go and try to shake off the day because I know he's here for me. He doesn't shame me for not being able to handle even tiny stressors right now. He just takes over. He's been my rock this past week. And while I'm not "good" yet, I actually have hope that I will be. For the first time in a very long time, I have hope that I'll get better thanks, in large part, to my awesome husband.